Why do I want to get married?

Lynn Wiedow

Everyone needs to feel loved, validated and know that they are special to somebody, but is that enough reason to tie the knot? There is immense social pressure on the youth to “find the one”, be a partner,  not be seen as the poor lonely soul who has nobody, so often we unconsciously look for The One, and before we know it we are married, done and dusted, the whirlwind paradise has passed and we are left wondering – did I do the right thing- but SHUSH.. never breathe a word to anyone! It is perhaps wise to take stock of yourself before entering into a relationship which may or may not end with the “will you marry me?’.

Find a close confidante, who may not necessarily be your best friend, but someone whom you look up to, trust and whom you would accept advice from. Set yourself some questions which need brutally honest answers which you could discuss with this person.

What is happening in my life right now? Am I content with where I am in my work choice, social circle, lifestyle choices? If not, what is missing?

You are making a mistake hoping that getting married will sort out any of the above. You have to be content within yourself with all the above before committing to a marriage.

Am I hankering after: a baby? Worrying that my biological clock is running dry?

Envious of friends who all seem to have it all – the perfect loving husband, lifestyle, baby and the illusion that they have what you don’t have and boy are you missing out? Why? Answer this question as frankly as possible and it may just revert to insecurities which may not be based on fact but an illusion.

Family pressure- boy is this a hard one! All your siblings are hitched, have families and here you sit- poor dear with no prospects in life as if you are not married-well you have lost the plot of life completely!

This is your life, and you commit when you are ready, not the family. Yes, they do play a very crucial role in whether your partner is accepted or not – but just because your family think he or she is perfect for you does not mean they are- you are the one who has to decide,  why, when, where, how and to whom you choose to marry.

Marriage is so much more than impressing everyone with the perfect wedding – it’s a life – long commitment through heaven, hell and all the not so rosy stuff in between.

Take a good long hard look at yourself and your partner before committing to marriage. Perhaps the timing is too soon or you are not at a place financially that it is viable.

Whatever problems you face today will not disappear just because you are wearing a wedding ring – to the contrary, they will be illuminated and stare you both straight in the eye! Your partner is not your saviour to save you from yourself and life. They are there to support you on your path and on theirs.

This is a serious – probably the most important decision you will make in your life – Choose wisely, not blindly and ignorantly.

More is at stake here than a fairy tale wedding which may end in disaster. You and your partner are worth so much more than settling for a fake love story.

Once you have decided: He is the one! You might want to start a Happy Wives Club. Isn’t this just the best idea ever!

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